


Like Someone Cut A Hole In Me

by natashanegofuckme



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla (Web Series) RPF, Carmilla - All Media Types, Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:24:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natashanegofuckme/pseuds/natashanegofuckme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elise and Natasha have been together for 2 years and struggle with conflicting views on marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Natasha

**Author's Note:**

> Okay everyone, first time writing! Ive read everything and anything from this fandom and an absolutely obsessed with these two beautiful ladies. This idea just sort of came into my head and i wanted to share it with you. Be nice please, never written anything at all before. Also I'm an aussie so apologies for any slang or spelling that may differ. I'm by no means a writer so enjoy me errors ;)
> 
> hope you enjoy x

I walk into our apartment that we’ve been living in for the past 2 years, it feels different tonight. The space is filled with white noise and the glow of the tv. I walk into the lounge room to see Elise bawled on the couch sleeping. This is my favourite thing to come home to, she is so beautiful. 

I kneel down next to her face and notice the puffy ears and it breaks my heart. Running my hand across her cheek as i kiss her forward head i whisper “wake up beautiful”. She opens her eyes in a few blinks and smiles, leaning in to kiss me. That is another favourite, it feels like the first time (and the first real time, not our kisses back on set). 

“Whats wrong love?” I ask pressing my palm to her cheek. She looks at me for a moment and sits up, i take the place next to her and hold her hand. 

“I don’t know how to start this Nat. I’ve been trying to find the words and courage all day.” She drops her head. I dont know what to feel or say so i just squeeze her hand. Theres dead silence for a few moments and as each second goes by i start to panic. 

“You can tell me baby, it's okay” I barely make my words out, panic setting in. She takes a deep breath. 

“I thought i could do it. I know you don’t want to ever get married but I don’t know if I can do it Natasha. I want a family with you and I want to be yours forever. I know it's just a piece of paper but I want to show the world how much you mean to me. I want to tell people you’re my wife. I want all of you. You mean everything to me but I can’t do it. I thought you might change your mind and i even thought I could with time, but I just can’t.” 

Tears are rolled down her face and she hasn’t looked up yet. I can’t hold my tears any longer either. Its like she once said.. It’s like someone has cut a hole in me. 

“I’m going to give you the time you need if you need it. But..” she gets down off the couch and kneels in front of me taking my hands. She looks me right in the eye this time. It's a pain I haven’t seen across her face before and its tearing me apart. 

“I never knew what it meant to truly and wholeheartedly love someone before you. I fell so hard for my best friend, work partner and soul mate. You changed everything for me. I don’t know who I would be without you anymore. I ask you with all of my heart “ she brings a ring out from her pocket and puts it into my hand. I can’t stop the flow of tears and muffled cries. 

“I don’t expect your answer, and I will give you the time that you need. And if this isn’t what you want then I’m okay with that because I want you to live the life that you want. But if you see me there, as your wife.. Will you Natasha Negovanlis make me the happiest person alive marry me? I'll give you time”. 

She almost imidately stands and kisses my forehead, walks to our room and grabs a bag she must have packed earlier and heads for the door. I’m crushed, devastated and hurting. I run after her grabbing her hand as she reaches the door and hold her body to mine. 

“P-please stay… I can’t be without you tonight. Please, just stay.” She stares at me for a few moments in contemplation and then finally drops her bag and takes my hand, taking me to our room where we fall to the bed. She holds me close as we both sob into each others arms. Sleep soon comes. 

I wake up to an empty bed. its cold and it makes me sick. I jump up immediately and find her no where. Walking back to the bedroom i see her note. 

 

Nat, 

Ill be staying with Paige while you have time to think.  
I love you, more than you know. 

Elise x


	2. Elise

6 days. Its been 6 days and i haven’t heard anything from her yet. Nothing. I know what it means and I’m destroyed. I know it is the thing to do, I couldn’t bear the thought of having that hanging over us if I didn’t do it. It was for the best… then why did my heart hurt so much. 

I decide that thats it, I can’t wait longer and I need to 'girl the hell' up and start this process. It was Wednesday which meant she was filming today so I would go to the apartment and start packing my things. I was just entering our apartment block when I hear her message tone come through. Instantly my heart drops. 

Nat <312.43pm Can you please come by the apartment tonight, we need to talk x

I was heartbroken. Mad. I couldn’t face it. I began to walk faster to the room, if I started getting the things I really need now then I won’t be here when she gets home. I put my key in the lock and turn it expecting to see an empty house. But there she was standing with our record player playing and singing with her back turned to me. It hurt even more than I could imagine, she only sings like this when she is happy. Thats my favrouit thing she does... was my favourite thing. As I usually do I turn my hurt into anger. I drop my bag and throw my keys onto the table and she spins around a the sound. 

“El.. whatre you doing here?” She asks, quiet surprised to see me there. 

“Oh sorry am I interrupting your party? Happy to get rid of me Natasha? Don’t worry I'll be out of your hair soon, just getting my things.” I walk straight to the study to grab my laptop and begin walking to the bedroom. 

“Wow wow, baby what're you doing?” She reaches out and grabs my hand as I try to walk past her.

“Don’t touch me Natasha.” I try to pull my arm away but she doesn’t let me. She takes the laptop from my hands and puts it on the table and holds me to her chest. And I cry, clinging to her shirt.

“Shh baby. It's okay. Hey look at me.” I shake my head, I just want to have this moment with her. It could be the last one we have. She kisses the top of my forehead and tilts my chin up to face her. 

“Sweetheart, you’ve got it all wrong. Although I really should have expected something like this, you couldn’t just come by when i asked you to?” Im confused now, she’s looking into my eyes and smiling. No, thats my favourite thing she does. 

“Although you’ve never been one to stick to my plans really, have you? Ive always needed to be in control or somewhat know how things are going to turn out. But that all changed really since I’ve met you. Oh God has my life changed since you. Although I treasure our working relationship and all that that has brought to me. This” she says as she holds my face. “ this, is what i value most. You’ve changed my views on life. On love. I always have said that marriage just isn’t for me but you El, you are for me. I don't want to spend one more day apart from you. and I would be absolutely honored to be your wife.” She gets down on her knee and smiles looking up at me. “Elise Bauman, please, please, will you be my wife”. 

I have tears streaming down my face again, I pull her up off the ground bringing her face to mine, kissing her with everything that I have. She moves her hands from my back to lift me up by my thighs. I happily wrap my legs around her as she starts walking us to our bed. I arch my back into her and she moves her tongue inside my mouth as I thread my fingers through her dark hair, holding her as close as possible. She places me onto the bed and crawls her way up to me, hovering over my body. She smiles down at me as she zeros in on the pulse point on my neck. I moan as her teeth scrape my neck and hands roam under my shirt, resting on the underside of my breasts. Things are going too slow for me, she loves to the her time but I'm too fuelled with passion and want that i flip us over and immediately begin taking her clothes off. 

Its a battle of dominance forwent seems to be who can show who loves the other more. Our clothes are gone in seconds, I take the time to look down at her, God is so beautiful. I correct myself again, this is what I love the most. The utter beauty that is all mine. I bend down and kiss her again, slowly this time while i flitter my hand just as slow down her toned stomach and apply a little pressure to where she needs me. She whimpers as I run my fingers through her bringing her hips up to meet my fingers. In normal circumstances I might tease her for how wet she is and desperate for me to touch her but instead i slide two fingers into her. 

A filthy moan escapes her mouth as I slowly let her adjust around me. She head is thrown back and lips slightly apart. I take the moment to take her bottom lip between mine as I begin to move inside her. 

"Oh God El, I'm not going to last long" she whispers while i trail kisses down her neck. I can feel her beginning to clench around my fingers so I increase my pace and curl them up slightly to the spot I know drives her wild. 

"Shit, im-" She doesn't make out any other words when her organs washes over her. Arching her back and dragging her nails across my back. It hurts a little but I definitely am not complaining. I smiled down at her, she eyes were still bunched together slightly and closed. Giving her light kisses across her cheek u nestled down next to her. 

"Yes."

She opens her eyes to look at me, slight concussion now spread cross her face. I laugh a little and kiss her again and then pull back slightly. 

"Yes I'll marry you love. I didn't quite say anything before." She laughs and runs her fingers across my collarbone. 

"You know, I had this whole big thing planned. There is literally 100 roses coming to the apartment in a couple of hours. I have all this food because I was going to cook us a nice meal. Theres 2 bottles of champagne in the kitchen and..." 

She reaches to the bed side table and gets a box out and opens it in front of me. A beautiful and delicate diamond ring. 

"This too, may I?" She asked as she slides it onto my finger. Its only then that I notice she has her ring on too. 

"Nat its perfect." I have tears in my eyes again. 

"Well it all could have been more perfect if you could have just held out a couple of hours. But I guess thats just like us isn't it? Things just never seaming to go right but falling into place in our own perfect way." 

I kiss her gently and wrap my arms around her. 

"I love you"

"I love you too sweetheart. let me show you." 

Sh begins kissing her way down my neck, pausing to nip at my sensitive spot just below my collarbone. She takes my nipple in her mouth and immediately starts rubbing slow circle on my clit. Its pure bliss, to give myself over to her like this. Not wasting anytime she lowers herself between my legs and throws my legs over her shoulders. I clench the sheets as her tongue dips inside me. Already my legs are slightly shaking as she enters two fingers inside my wanting body and begins sucking my clit. 

"Fuckk- uh- please baby, faster" She doesn't tease me, not tonight. pumping and circling her fingers and relentlessly sucking on my clit. 

"Oh God Natasha!" One hand moves to her head while the other is turning white at the knuckles. She coaxes me through my orgasm and then lifts herself up to kiss me. 

"Wow"

"you're telling me sweetheart. I think we might even need new sheets after that one."

I blush and hide my face in her neck. She's stroking my hair and kissing my forehead. 

"So this is happening?"

"Yes baby, you're stuck with my forever now"

I smile into her neck and hold her closer. 

"Good. Now I want something to eat."

She laughs and begins to get up off the bed. I grab her hand and pull her back in, flipping her onto her back and lean over the top of her bending down to whisper in her ear. 

"Its not food I want to eat Nat"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think :)


End file.
